TWENTY TWENTY VISION by Bridgid Galvin #TinyPlayChallenge

Keep your creativity flowing with Fishamble's #TinyPlayChallenge
In these challenging times, Fishamble - along with many of our colleagues in the wider Irish artistic community - is working hard to keep imaginations lively, communities engaged - and most of all offer people the opportunity of creative expression. We asked our audiences: Would you welcome the challenge of exploring your thoughts and feelings through drama? Do you have a dramatic story that you feel the urge to work out for yourself, and maybe share with your fellow citizens?
​Below is one of the chosen plays from our weekly submissions.

Twenty Twenty Vision
A Tiny play  Bridgid Galvin

SCENE – LADIES BOUTIQUE.
EMER  (20’s) holds up a dress on a hanger signalling to shop assistant JOAN(50’s).

EMER                         Sorry… do you have this in a twenty?

JOAN                          Did you check the rail?

EMER                         Well… I did…yes.

JOAN                          Hang on so ‘til we’ve a look.
                                    JOAN flicks through the rail
                                  Six, eight, eight, eight…ten, twelve, ten, ten, ten…Oh look, a   sixteen…(looks at Emer) What was it again?

EMER                         Twenty…or maybe an eighteen would do?

JOAN                         Naw, I’d stick to the twenty…Hold on, I think we’re in luck…(pause) Naw…a twelve…just saw the two there…must be blind.

EMER                         No panic… thanks anyhow.

JOAN                          Always the same. The big wans go first.

EMER                         Yeah?.

JOAN                          Yeah like…I dunno. They’re always snapped up…La? We’re always left with loads of eights and tens… racks of them.

EMER                         Might that not be telling ye something?

JOAN                          I know! Don’t I be saying it all the time? An’ there’d be others like yourself...

EMER                         (mock conspiratorially) So there are others?

JOAN                          Loads girl…loads…an’ the big sizes fly out the door!

EMER                         So what day does new stock come in?

JOAN                          Tuesdays. But you’ve to get here early like…

EMER                         …to avoid the plus size stampede?

JOAN                          Ha you’re gas! (pause) Sure God love us. Listen…would ya give the sixteen a go?

EMER                        A go? This isn’t a funfair ride we’re talking about…that dress is a full two sizes smaller.

JOAN                          I know like…but they’re very generous. Our Jenny here is an eight an’ she got into a six.

EMER                         A six…that’s very generous alright. Did Jenny have a go at the size four?

JOAN                          How do ya mean?

EMER                         Just following on from your two sizes down theory.

JOAN                          Do you know what? Now that you mention it, they don’t come in a size four…that’s more of it now for ya!

EMER                         Yeah…tough break for the size fours alright and there was I giving out. At least they make it in a size twenty, even if it does mean camping out overnight to get one.

JOAN                          Ah sure God love us will ya stop! Listen, do you know what you can’t go wrong with?

EMER                         A millionaire coated in Hagan Daz?

JOAN                          You’re gas!....No…really…look.
                                    JOAN holds up a black pants

EMER                         Black pants?

JOAN                          Exactly. The best friend of a lady of size…

EMER                         …along with her cat.

JOAN                          Gas! Listen… I’m telling ya…ya can’t go wrong with a black pants.

EMER                         But maybe I want to go wrong.

JOAN                          A fine girl like you would cut a dash in a well cut black trousers…a vision! Play it safe on the bottom an’ ya’ can go mad on top.

EMER                         Sounds promising…I’ve always wanted to go mad on top.

JOAN                          It’s all about disguising the faults and flashing the assets.

EMER                         Disguising and flashing..? It all sounds a bit illegal.

JOAN                          Ha! Accentuate and depreciate…draw the eye upwards.

EMER                         To where?

JOAN                          Up up and away…

EMER                         Away..? From… the body?

JOAN                          Exactly! Up is the key. Your eyes are your asset.

EMER                         Ok…so basically a giant cut out arrow should do the job.

JOAN                          Gas!…No, no…listen…the large girls’ secret weapon…
                                    Pause for revelation
                                    A scarf!
(JOAN nods knowingly throughout the following)
EMER                         A scarf? (pause)Right so…I think I’ve got this. Disguise and flash…Accentuate and depreciate… Black pants…(mimes drawing a circle round her face) Keep it all going on up round here with a scarf acting as border crossing to the troubled southern territory. Yeah?
JOAN                          Exactly!
EMER                         Right…thanks.
JOAN                          My pleasure love…ya see we women must support each other, right?
EMER                         Yeah. I see.     
 
                                                                                                                                    End      


Bridgid Galvin is a secondary teacher from Cork. She writes for pleasure and has had a number of one act plays produced in Cork Arts Theatre. She was selected for mentoring as part of Scripts Playwriting Festival 2017. In 2018 she was selected as one of thirty playwrights for Fishamble Theatre Company’s ‘A Play for Ireland’ process, in conjunction with The Everyman Theatre Cork. In 2019, She won the Billy Roche International Short Play Competition.

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