Keep your creativity flowing with Fishamble's #TinyPlayChallenge
In these challenging times, Fishamble - along with many of our colleagues in the wider Irish artistic community - is working hard to keep imaginations lively, communities engaged - and most of all offer people the opportunity of creative expression. We asked our audiences: Would you welcome the challenge of exploring your thoughts and feelings through drama? Do you have a dramatic story that you feel the urge to work out for yourself, and maybe share with your fellow citizens?
Below is one of the chosen plays from our weekly submissions.
Twenty Twenty Vision
A Tiny play Bridgid Galvin
SCENE – LADIES BOUTIQUE.
EMER (20’s) holds up a dress on a hanger signalling to shop assistant JOAN(50’s).
EMER Sorry… do you have this in a twenty?
JOAN Did you check the rail?
EMER Well… I did…yes.
JOAN Hang on so ‘til we’ve a look.
JOAN flicks through the rail
Six, eight, eight, eight…ten, twelve, ten, ten, ten…Oh look, a sixteen…(looks at Emer) What was it again?
EMER Twenty…or maybe an eighteen would do?
JOAN Naw, I’d stick to the twenty…Hold on, I think we’re in luck…(pause) Naw…a twelve…just saw the two there…must be blind.
EMER No panic… thanks anyhow.
JOAN Always the same. The big wans go first.
JOAN Yeah like…I dunno. They’re always snapped up…La? We’re always left with loads of eights and tens… racks of them.
EMER Might that not be telling ye something?
JOAN I know! Don’t I be saying it all the time? An’ there’d be others like yourself...
EMER (mock conspiratorially) So there are others?
JOAN Loads girl…loads…an’ the big sizes fly out the door!
EMER So what day does new stock come in?
JOAN Tuesdays. But you’ve to get here early like…
EMER …to avoid the plus size stampede?
JOAN Ha you’re gas! (pause) Sure God love us. Listen…would ya give the sixteen a go?
EMER A go? This isn’t a funfair ride we’re talking about…that dress is a full two sizes smaller.
JOAN I know like…but they’re very generous. Our Jenny here is an eight an’ she got into a six.
EMER A six…that’s very generous alright. Did Jenny have a go at the size four?
JOAN How do ya mean?
EMER Just following on from your two sizes down theory.
JOAN Do you know what? Now that you mention it, they don’t come in a size four…that’s more of it now for ya!
EMER Yeah…tough break for the size fours alright and there was I giving out. At least they make it in a size twenty, even if it does mean camping out overnight to get one.
JOAN Ah sure God love us will ya stop! Listen, do you know what you can’t go wrong with?
EMER A millionaire coated in Hagan Daz?
JOAN You’re gas!....No…really…look.
JOAN holds up a black pants
EMER Black pants?
JOAN Exactly. The best friend of a lady of size…
EMER …along with her cat.
JOAN Gas! Listen… I’m telling ya…ya can’t go wrong with a black pants.
EMER But maybe I want to go wrong.
JOAN A fine girl like you would cut a dash in a well cut black trousers…a vision! Play it safe on the bottom an’ ya’ can go mad on top.
EMER Sounds promising…I’ve always wanted to go mad on top.
JOAN It’s all about disguising the faults and flashing the assets.
EMER Disguising and flashing..? It all sounds a bit illegal.
JOAN Ha! Accentuate and depreciate…draw the eye upwards.
EMER To where?
JOAN Up up and away…
EMER Away..? From… the body?
JOAN Exactly! Up is the key. Your eyes are your asset.
EMER Ok…so basically a giant cut out arrow should do the job.
JOAN Gas!…No, no…listen…the large girls’ secret weapon…
Pause for revelation
(JOAN nods knowingly throughout the following)
EMER A scarf? (pause)Right so…I think I’ve got this. Disguise and flash…Accentuate and depreciate… Black pants…(mimes drawing a circle round her face) Keep it all going on up round here with a scarf acting as border crossing to the troubled southern territory. Yeah?
JOAN My pleasure love…ya see we women must support each other, right?
EMER Yeah. I see.
Bridgid Galvin is a secondary teacher from Cork. She writes for pleasure and has had a number of one act plays produced in Cork Arts Theatre. She was selected for mentoring as part of Scripts Playwriting Festival 2017. In 2018 she was selected as one of thirty playwrights for Fishamble Theatre Company’s ‘A Play for Ireland’ process, in conjunction with The Everyman Theatre Cork. In 2019, She won the Billy Roche International Short Play Competition.
Fishamble: The New Play Company is supported by