THE WONDER OF YOU by Eric O'Brien #TinyPlayChallenge

Keep your creativity flowing with Fishamble's #TinyPlayChallenge
In these challenging times, Fishamble - along with many of our colleagues in the wider Irish artistic community - is working hard to keep imaginations lively, communities engaged - and most of all offer people the opportunity of creative expression. We asked our audiences: Would you welcome the challenge of exploring your thoughts and feelings through drama? Do you have a dramatic story that you feel the urge to work out for yourself, and maybe share with your fellow citizens?
​Below is one of the chosen plays from our global submissions.


DA and SON in a car, at the side of a road, waiting.
A news bulletin plays on the radio: ’Today’s covid-19 figures see a rise. . .’
 
DA:
For god sake. . .sick of it.  Do they really need to be ramming it down our throats 24/7.
 
SON:
Here comes the hearse now.
 
DA:  
Turn that radio off.
 
SON:          
Right.
 
DA:  
Wind down the window.
 
SON:          
Why?
 
DA:  
Because I farted, what do ye think ye big eejit, it’s a mark of respect.
 
SON:          
Is it?
 
DA:  
Shhh. Here he is.
 
Father and Son bless themselves as the hearse approaches.
The driver has a mask on him, shocking.
 
SON:          
Is that to stop him from getting it or from passing it on?
 
DA:  
Ask him.
 
SON:
Shut up.
 
DA:  
Probably to keep the smell of your uncles feet out of his nostrils.
 
SON:          
That’s awful Da.
 
DA:  
I’m not joking. He was notorious for it.
 
SON:
Notorious for smelly feet?
 
DA:  
Ah, there’s your mother in the car behind the hearse, wave at her.
 
SON:          
I’m not fucking waving, it’s a funeral not a papa visit.
 
DA:  
Not one person walking behind the hearse. Awful. It’s no way to go.
 
SON:
I know.
 
DA:  
He’d be disgusted. A showman your uncle was, people would hang on just for a sing song with him. Honestly.
 
SON:          
So I’ve heard.
 
DA:  
This is just not right.
 
SON:
They’re slowing up?
 
Son sticks his head out the window.
Some sort of traffic jam.
 
DA:  
This road, a glorified lane, fuckin council, it should be one way traffic and that’s it.
 
SON:          
Yeah alright Da, I haven’t the head for you banging on.
 
DA:  
Where did you put my bag.
 
SON:          
In the back. Your not cracking into them already are ya?
 
DA:  
With this bottleneck traffic. We’ll be hear for a while yet.
 
Da opens the bag.
 
You big eejitt ye, you forgot me glass.
 
SON:          
Oh did I? Sorry.
 
DA:  
Sorry? Is that it. Can’t drink Guinness out of a can.
 
SON:
Ye can, same thing, it’s all a myth that pouring shite.
 
DA:  
Sometimes I wonder about you, your not dealing with the full deck at all.
 
SON:          
Look at poor Ann.
 
DA:  
God help her, she’ll be lost without him.
 
SON:
The drivers getting out of the hearse now.
 
DA:  
Jaysus. Get out and see what’s happening.
 
Son gets out of the car, then returns.
 
SON:
Your not going to believe this, a collision up ahead, nothing is moving either way. Turn on the radio we might get a traffic update.
 
DA:
You’ll do no such thing, that’s a mark of disrespect to the dead.
 
SON:
Don’t know which is worse uncle Derek dying or being stuck in a car with you.
 
DA:  
This isn’t right.
 
SON:          
So you keep saying but there’s nothing we can do about it, this is the new reality for everyone Da.
 
DA:  
Not for me son. Not for your uncle Derek.
 
Da opens the car door, he tries to hoist himself up onto the roof of the car but fails.
 
SON:
Have you completely lost it?
 
DA:
Push me up.
 
SON:
Are you for real?
 
Beat.
 
DA:
Please?
 
Son reluctantly gets out of the car and walks around to the passenger side. Son gives his Da a boost onto the roof.
 
DA:  
(shouting) Right folks, come on, wind down your windows, come on, Ann, you too love, wind down your window while your waiting, that’s it. This is one of Dereks numbers -
 
(singing) ’when no-one else can understand me’
 
Come on son?
 
SON:
(barely audible) O oh oh oh.
 
DA:  
‘When everything I do is wrong’
 
SON:
(embarrassed but audible) O oh oh oh
 
DA:  
'You give me hope and consolation’
 
SON/ANNE/MOTHER:
‘O oh oh oh’
 
DA:
‘You give me strength to carry on.’

 
The End.
 
 
 
 
 
 Eric is an actor who indulges with some writing from time to time.

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