COME ON YOU BOYS IN GREEN by Barry McStay - Tiny Plays for a Brighter Future

Ten Tiny Plays, consisting of just 600 words, have been shortlisted as part of the Tiny Plays for a Brighter Future challenge, a partnership between ESB and Fishamble: The New Play Company, which was launched in February 2021. The challenge invited writers to imagine what a brighter energy future means to them, and to capture that in a 600-word play. Over 350 submissions were received, and the shortlisted plays were selected by an independent panel of judges. ​

 
Come on you Boys in Green by Barry McStay

Ray
Robbie
Both about 60.

*

Ray’s driveway.

Robbie - Did you watch last night?

Ray - God, don’t start -

Robbie - We were shite.

Ray - Total shite.

Robbie - Absolute shite.

Ray - Worst I’ve ever seen -

Robbie - Worse.

Ray - The pits.

Robbie - Spot on -

Ray - Terrible -

Robbie - Weren’t we?

Ray - We were.

Robbie - I mean -

Ray - Sure stoppit -

Robbie - Slovenia.

Ray - Exactly -

Robbie - Slovenia.

Ray - I know -

Robbie - Slovenia.

Ray - Don’t talk to me -

Robbie - Come on -

Ray - Sure look -
-
-
-
Robbie - You finally got one.

Ray - Well, you have to don’t you?

Robbie - Still. End of an era.

Ray - End of an era.

Robbie - How does she drive?

Ray - Smooth enough. It’s very quiet.

Robbie - That’s what they say, isn’t it?

Ray - They’re right.

Robbie - Almost spooky, the way they creep up on you.

Ray - You’d nearly miss the rattle of the old petrol engines.

Robbie - They don’t make em like that any more.

Ray - They’re not allowed.

Robbie - Sure this is it.
-
-
Ray - D’you ’member - the Lada!

Robbie - Larry!

Ray - Larry the Lada!

Ray - Italia 90!

Robbie - Those were the days.

Ray - Weren’t they?

Robbie - Now that was a team!

Ray - Big Jack!

Robbie - Jackie’s Army -

Ray - Olé olé olé -

Robbie - “Come on you boys in green!”

Ray - Driving to Italy -

Robbie - You, me, Walshy and Kearney -

Ray - Larry the Lada stank with us four!

Robbie - He did!

Ray - Some adventure.

Robbie - Genoa to Rome!

Ray - I didn’t get to Rome -

Robbie - God, that’s right -

Ray - I’ve never forgiven Paul.

Robbie - I bet.

Ray - Of all the days -

Robbie - June 30th 1990.

Ray - Exactly -

Robbie - Stadio Olimpico -

Ray - Exactly -

Robbie - We felt bad, when you left -

Ray - How d’you think I felt?

Robbie - Marie would have killed you though -

Ray - Oh I know -

Robbie - Still -

Ray - Bad enough having to come home - but having to smile after that result -

Robbie - Schillachi.

Ray - Schillachi.

Robbie - Still. You had to.

Ray - Yeah. You know yourself. Holding him.

Happiest day of my life.
-
Bollocks was it.

Robbie - He’s a good lad all the same.
They’re getting married soon aren’t they? Him and -

Ray - Scott, yeah - July.

Robbie - That’ll be some day.

Ray - Ah yeah.

Robbie - Long as they’re happy.

Ray - This is it.

Robbie - Happiest day of his life.

Ray - This is it.
-
-
Did you watch the match with Gráinne?

Robbie - Just myself. She left on Tuesday..

Ray - Back to Oz.

Robbie - Exactly.

Ray - Takes no time at all now, does it?

Robbie - God no, blink of an eye.

Ray - She’ll be back soon enough.

Robbie - Not until Easter. Hopefully with the grandkids.

Ray - Ah right.

No time at all.

Robbie - Ah yeah, it’s no distance.

Ray - Not like the old days.

Robbie - God no.
-
-
Does it take long to charge?

Ray - Not long at all.

Robbie - That’s handy.

Ray - Exactly.

Robbie - Where d’you charge it?

Ray - Over at Paul’s.

Robbie - Would you not get one of them outlets yourself?

Ray - Ah no, he and Scott already had one, you know?

Robbie - Fair enough.

Ray - I drop over, it’s very quick - a few minutes - I stick my head in the door. Prove I’m not dead.

Robbie - God yeah. They do worry, don’t they?
-
-
Ray - I was going to head over now.

Robbie - Grand, I’ll let you get on.

Ray - Are you going somewhere?

Robbie - Just to the shops.

Ray - Hop in there.

Robbie - If you’re sure?

Ray - It’s no bother.
-
-
You’ll come round for watch the next match, won’t you? Watch it together.

Robbie - If you like.

Ray - They’ll be better.

Robbie - They can’t get any worse.

Ray - God willing.
-
Slovenia.

Robbie - Slovenia - exactly - Slovenia!


Barry is an actor & writer. His plays include Vespertilio (dir. Lucy Jane Atkinson, VAULT Festival & Kings Head Theatre) The First (dir. Emily Jenkins, VAULT Festival), The Lighthouse (Fishamble, A Play For Ireland), Bir Tawil (dir. Caitriona McLaughlin, Druid Theatre) & Our Island (dir. Maisie Lee, Dublin Fringe, Zebbie Award Nominee). His work has been longlisted for the Bruntwood, Theatre 503 & Papatango Prizes.
Twitter: @bazmcstay / @VespertilioPlay

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